Ridiculous Idealism

Conversations with pati

I had an interesting conversation with my grandmother the other day.

It ranged from the time-honoured classic that is 'Baby's Day Out' to a friend who miraculously escaped being run over by a train.

And in the span of that entire conversation, one thing struck me rather hard.

'It was so lucky he escaped,' she said. 'He had three girls to marry off, you know?'

Now, I love my granny and she is incredibly cute but that sentence completely threw me, completely chilled me. And yet, it and its various layers of meaning still reverberate continuously throughout middle-class Tamil society, to which I rather unfortunately belong.

The fact that a man's duty by his daughter ends completely with her marriage hurts and bewilders me. I would like to believe that my dad sees more in me than that! And through out this all, I can't shake the feeling that women are still treated as brood mares, that the duty of a woman begins and ends with bearing a child, and preferable a male one at that.

And what is marriage in today's world anyways? Why should the only goal of a woman be marriage? I can see changes around me, in attitudes and women do seem have more of a say in their own lives (it took long enough!). And yet, my grannies throw around statements like that, my own mother believes that no woman should wait beyond the age of 24 to marry and I sit there, trying to take all this through one ear and let it out the other but it's difficult and scary and sometimes I feel helpless and frightened and I can't wait to get out of this house, away from my family to follow my dreams, to achieve my goals, to live my own life.

I love my family but things have got to change!

[X] posted at Ilampoon

posted by Books inc @ 6:26 AM