Ridiculous Idealism

Bye bye world

2006-10-09T04:11:00.000-07:00

I'm shutting Unprettiful.

I've realised my opinions are not worth a tuppence. We aren't going to change the world anyway.

Bye bye world :)

The -ism Chasm

2006-09-30T08:33:00.000-07:00

The –Ism chasm:

It caught me completely by surprise. There I was, an innocent, naïve girl, looking at the world in blacks and whites with the odd shade of grey just to add that little bit of variety, there I was, happily hiding behind the assumption that the world was exactly how it looked when it crept up to me, caught me by the throat, and shook me till my teeth rattled and my eyes rolled into the back of my head. My mind was torn in a million opposite directions, my thoughts were a confusing concoction of, well, thoughts and I didn't know where my thoughts began and where they were being led to.

I am talking about, well, the confusing world of the –isms. In less than three months I've suddenly been rudely dropped into the world of where a chair is not a chair but it becomes a chair when I see it as a chair. I've suddenly been caught up in the throes of arguments against presence and being and phenomenon and origin. I've been introduced to phrases like Constitutive Otherness, I now know of people like the all knowing, all seeing Derrida and Michel Foucault and Baudrillard. My eyes have been opened.

What has actually happened is that I am now drowning in a world of post-somethingisms. Post-modernism, Post-colonialism, Post-industrialism, Post-structuralism. And that's not all. For it to be a post-something, there had to be a something before that. And more often than not, I have to look at that something before I make any sense of the post-something. So there is now pre-colonialism, colonialism, postcolonialism and that's not all. There is now something called neo colonialism!

Is there any end to this, I wonder. Will we ever stop analysing and over analysing the world we live in, the world which seems so simple on the outset but so complex later on. But which movement to follow, which theory to follow? And where is all this taking me? Is it going to bring me enlightenment of some sort? Is it going to make my life easier to handle?

Suffixes and prefixes, the murky, miry deeps of abstraction. Identity, information, transgression, construction. And then deconstruction. What is really the point of it all, anyway? Sometimes I would really like to proclaim that I GIVE UP! I'm an existentialist and life is futile and everything else has no meaning except for the fact that they exist.

Simply excuse maadi. I think I need to go and collect my thoughts.

Shameless self promotion :)

2006-09-02T06:32:00.000-07:00

Inner Goddess:

The Martini Lounge is looking for the Inner Goddess in You. We are on a hunt to find the most unique and inspiring personal story or experience, as we transition into a more personalized community. We want the next issue of The Martini Lounge to reflect the variety and diversity of women’s lives internationally. Your personal story can fall under one of the following topics:

- A personal love story about you and your significant other
- A friendship story about you and your best friend
- A family traditions experience and / or story
- A personal life changing experience
- A poem, love letters or unsent letters
- Prose, fiction or a short story
- Your best photographs (original artwork only)
- A personal struggle or hardship
- Your best illustrations, graphic design and artwork

Please submit all original work and submissions to: contribute@martini-lounge.com no later then September 20th. Written submissions must be between 250 - 1500 words. Open to: all international females. Include your Name, Location, Age, URL, Email, Topic and Submission. Please do not send any attachments.

This post will be a sticky till the contest ends. Remember, do participate. Excellent prizes on offer.

Go to M-L . You know you want to

Deviant

2006-07-31T10:35:00.000-07:00

I'm so deviant.

So this is what they call Human Rights

2006-07-29T09:36:00.000-07:00

I've been following the events surrounding Israel for quite sometime now.

I haven't been very happy with what I've seen.

Sometime back, I wrote an article on Hamas for M-L. It wasn't published. I don't think it is going to be. Probably a little radical for them.

I've decided to post it here.

The Victory of Hamas

I first read about the Israel vs Palestine conflict in an Erich Segal book (I think it’s The Class, I’m not sure) At that time I was very influenced by Segal’s views on the matter (he was very obviously pro-Israel). The Jews wanted their home back. I could relate.

In the past years, I always thought that since both the US and India were pro-Israel, they must be right, Palestinians should give up their land for them, etc. etc. In the recent past however, I have been forced to rethink my stance on this matter.

This began first when I read about Arafat’s sudden and mysterious death and his circumstances before his death. Then the papers reported the assassinations and murders of top officials in Palestine. Then a friend told me of the situation in the Ghaza strip.

Which was why, when Hamas won the recent legislative elections in Palestine, I was unsurprised.

It was a resounding exercise in democracy. There was a voter turn-out of 77 percent. It was the first seriously contested election in the region. It was universally hailed as free and fair. And it was met with approval from all quarters until the results came out.

When Hamas swept the elections, winning 76 seats of the 132 member Palestinian Legislative Council, the international community was shocked, especially Israel and its greatest supporter, the USA. Israel immediately cut down all communications with Palestinian leaders, refusing to deal with a ‘terrorist organisation.’ In the US, a blame-game has already started with Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice saying first that the country will not deal with a party with ‘one leg in politics and the other in terror’ and then saying that ‘somebody’ should have seen this coming. The European Union has suspended all direct aid to a nation where most people are living under 1 $ a day, where basic amenities are a scarcity.

It seems to me that the international community approves of democracy only when things swing the way it wants them to.

This whole thing stinks of hypocrisy. Israel is no martyr. Since the 1993 Oslo Accords signed by Palestine and Israel, the Palestinians have only known untold misery from Israel’s side. Israel has refused to stick to the conditions in the Oslo Accords. It has sponsored acts of terrorism in Palestine for time immemorial. Take the case of Arafat. He was imprisoned, confined into a room and half in his bombed presidential home. He then died, rather mysteriously in Paris.

And that’s not all. Israel assassinated some of Palestine’s top leaders. Before the elections, Israel arrested some of Hamas’ top leaders. Months before, Israel tried to incarcerate all candidates who filed their nominations on behalf of Hamas.
And yet, this state-sponsored terrorism is ignored. The Palestinians are expected to prove that they are not terrorists while their ‘sainted’ neighbours go scot-free. The Hamas victory shows the Palestinian’s entirely justifed rejection of this expectation by the international community.

Indeed, I would have been surprised if the Hamas hadn’t won. In the past few years, the previous leading political party, the Fatah, has deteriorated into corruption and inefficiency. The Fatah were unable to do anything, even as they watched Israel undermine its authority, blatantly violating the Oslo accords. Millions of dollars, pumped into Palestine by the EU has disappeared into the Fatah, and conditions haven’t improved there at all. When Israel built the separation wall in the West Bank with US approval, Qualqilya, a Palestinian city of more than 500000 people was completely hemmed in. Before the wall, Fatah enjoyed totally majority there. Now it is a Hamas stronghold.

More than a Hamas victory, the elections were a loss for the Fatah. A divided Fatah, where the armed faction had already begun to side with the Hamas clinched the victory for them. Plus the Palestinians’ wish to finally end this misery is what saw the ‘surprising’ victory of the Hamas in the polls.

I don’t really see why the world has turned away from Palestine. The Hamas are willing to negotiate terms of peace. They support the two-nation theory. They have dropped the call for Israel’s destruction, even though they don’t recognize Israel as a separate state. Yet they have shown themselves to be quite flexible on this issue. They have initiated a cease-fire. They have honoured their military truce with Israel despite being seriously provoked. Senior Hamas leaders want peace, but they are not willing to be drawn into long winded talks with Israel, or to be duped by them again. All this seems perfectly reasonable to me.

And yet Israel is unwilling to deal with any Palestine government that includes armed ‘anti-Israeli groups.’ The Bush administration have refused to have any dealings with any group that is ‘against Israel.’ More countries are following the examples set by these two countries.

As aid is now cut off, Palestine faces grave consequences. Without external finances, Palestinians doctors, civil servants and others will have to go without their salaries. Palestinians living under Israeli occupation will face worse straits than they are facing now. Indeed, this will only force them more towards extremism.

People have spoken up against this. Former US President Jimmy Carter who led the international observer mission for the PLC has asked the international community not to suspend aid. “The Palestinian government is destitute and in desperate financial straits. I hope that support for the new government is forthcoming,” he said. Russian Premier Vladimir Putin, while calling on Hamas to engage in peace talks with Israel, also said that imposing restrictive measures on the Hamas would only have negative consequences.

Indeed, Hamas has made significant concessions and contributions to the peace process. What I don’t get is why innocent people should suffer, or be punished only for wanting an effective government which will bring them peace and happiness, instead of the abject sorrow and misery they live in now.

Recent events have only compounded my views on Israel. Recently, an orkuter who took exception about me being a little anti-Israel sent me this email:

India and her secular seclusion

TR Jawahar

Chennai, July 18, 2006

As I write this, the Israeli military is relentlessly bombarding the airport of Beirut. The reason for the rain of hell fire is the kidnapping of two Israeli soldiers by the Lebanese terror outfit, Hezbollah.

So, is Israel overreacting? Apparently yes.

But given the history of Islamic violence that Israel had to contend with particularly in the context of its vulnerable geography too, surrounded as it is by hostile Islamic nations, its actions reveal a stern wisdom borne out of experience: the only language Islamic terror understands is counter terror, preferably pre-emptive!

Nip it in the bud, before they turn you into a corpse, which is not a possibility but an eventuality. Little surprise, therefore, that the jehadis deem Israel a tough nut to crack.

I present this prelude out of both frustration and inspiration; frustration because of the way Indians have been rendered sitting ducks by a combination of factors, mostly self-inflicted, to the bombs of Islamic terrorists: inspiration, because if India has the will, Israel has already shown the way...

But India, which has been at the receiving end of jihadi violence for long is in deep slumber . secular slumber.

On the other hand, the 'free and secular' western world, wears its religion and culture like a talisman, to ward off the Jihadi threat even while flexing its muscles and delivering punches, when necessary and even when not so...

On the contrary, the rulers bend over backwards with bouquets of reservations and what not in a wishful fit of appeasement, reminiscent of a sheep's optimism when faced by wolves.

Now does a nation, so committed to hara kiri, need enemies?

The article above (not reproduced in full) goes on about how the world, taking Israel as an example, is cowing terrorism using force blah blah while we Indians still try looking for alternate means to end terror.

Well, there are indeed somethings I'd like to say to that. On Israel's 'war' against Lebanon and the Hizbollah, don't even get me started. There are so many things wrong with it! First, the fact that Israel is targetting only specific areas of Lebanon, leaving the Christian areas relatively untouched. Second, that this started out of the kidnapping of two people! Scores of innocent people getting killed for that! Third, that the bombers are specifically targetting, not the Hizbollah, but ambulances, hospitals and the like. Fourth, that over the years, they have kidnapped more than five hundred Lebanese, most of whom are still languishing in prison. Fifth, that they don't care who they bomb. Not that bombing anyone can be justified, but come on. Children?

It is obvious what's happening here isn't it? Israel with it's powerful ally the USA, are obviously hoping to make this part of the world crumble. They probably hope to institute weak governments that are easily manipulated, easily threatened, easily cowed.

It's sick.

And the rest of the world...just looks on.

WHy I was afraid

2006-07-16T08:36:00.000-07:00

What really scared me about the Mumbai blasts was this:

The fact that I wasn't really scared. I wasn't shocked. I wasn't even surprised.

I was indifferent.

Is that cause for worry, you think?

Hmmmm....

2006-07-10T07:41:00.000-07:00

Blogger bungled and my last post appeared twice.

hmmm....

Considering merging Unprettiful and Misfit.

Lots more convenient.

:D

Grah

2006-07-03T06:25:00.001-07:00

I am a fat person.

Ok. Not completely. But fat in all the places that matter.

Unfortunately.

Which is WHY I find it so effing difficult to buy a pair of jeans.

The first shop I go to has amazing fits, nice colours, great finishes. But they stop at the size which is two sizes smaller than my waist!

The second shop has exactly two pairs of jeans in my size. One falls like it is made to drape one of those poles used to prop up shamayanas, loose on top, tight at the bottom! Who even wears anything like that! The other makes my waist look like a balloon and my calves like two sticks!

The third shop I visited had jeans my size only they were so extremely low waist that ummm...things which should be uncovered were well, not!

The fourth shop I visit has only stretch jeans! With 'artful' rips and 'funky' designs in SEQUINS and other shiny things which pissed me off to no extent!

The fifth shop finally had something for me. Only, it was from the men's section!

Finally I found something good! By this time, I was exhausted, irritable, angry and ready to buy the next thing which actually buttoned around my waist!

Why the hell are jeans manufacturers so discriminatory towards fat people? Every shop you go to, you'll easily find something with waist 26 or waist 28 and 30 but above that, everything goes downhill. Fits are foregoed upon, quality detiorates and most of the time, there are no sizes higher than that! What are they trying to say? That plus-sized people shouldn't wear jeans? That they don't cater to plus sized people?

Gah. Are only thin people supposed to be trendy enough to wear jeans that look good and feel good?

Seriously, I have no problems in finding formal wear but when it comes to jeans...sometimes I really feel like throwing my hands up in despair and just wear salwar kameezes for the rest of my damned life.

Fuck. I hate being fat!

Grah

2006-07-03T06:25:00.000-07:00

New articles

2006-06-16T09:19:00.000-07:00

Because there is no point reposting:

The Golden Age

Express this

I fear...

Er...enjoy?

SanjuBABA

Religion today

2006-06-10T07:09:00.000-07:00

Imagine: you are a foot soldier in a paramilitary group whose purpose is to remake America as a Christian theocracy, and establish its worldly vision of the dominion of Christ over all aspects of life. You are issued high-tech military weaponry, and instructed to engage the infidel on the streets of New York City. You are on a mission - both a religious mission and a military mission -- to convert or kill Catholics, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, gays, and anyone who advocates the separation of church and state - especially moderate, mainstream Christians. Your mission is "to conduct physical and spiritual warfare"; all who resist must be taken out with extreme prejudice. You have never felt so powerful, so driven by a purpose: you are 13 years old. You are playing a real-time strategy video game whose creators are linked to the empire of mega-church pastor Rick Warren, best selling author of The Purpose Driven Life.

The game, slated for release by October 2006 in advance of the Christmas shopping rush, has been previewed at video game exhibitions, and reviewed by major newspapers and magazines. But until now, no fan or critic has pointed out the controversial game's connection to Mr. Warren or his dominionist agenda.

Source: Here

There's a damned good reason why I'm against organized religion. Here stands one of them!

(And something more about Christianity while I'm on the topic. Here's something a person had to say about this game:

Personally, I love this game.
I've said it before and I'll say it again; the Christian right is nothing but a hate group like the KKK. indeed, there's a great deal of overlap between the two. However, unlike other hate groups, the Christian right has been politically successful because they usually manage to disguise their hatred as something else. So successful in fact, that people who aught to know better, often accuse me of being excessive when I refer to the Christian right in this way. Let's be clear about this. This is not a group that wants to stop abortion or gay marriage. It's a group whose goal is nothing less than the conversion or elimination of all non-Christians and all Christians who don't agree with their interpretation of Christianity. They are almost always dishonest about this. This game seems to be a rare example of truthfulness from the Christian right, and they should be commended for it. I'd like to think of it as a positive first step. More likely though, it's a rare slip up. I don't think these folks want to reveal their true intentions until they feel they have sufficient power to start carrying them out.)

What can I say? Interesting?

Loungers Uniting

2006-06-06T22:09:00.000-07:00

Woman? Proud, dignigified, with a thirst to change the world? Lady? Want to share your experiences in life with the world? Writer? With a passion for words, and have something to say? Maybe Martini Lounge is the place for you.

Write. Edit. Representate. Photograph. Design. Support.

The Lounge is a community by women for women with a mission to unite women all over the world. We write, we create, we design. We talk, we chat, we unite.

If you want to be part of this wonderful community, hop on over to Martini Lounge, have a look around, read the article, join the forums and do consider joining up as part of the staff. You'll love it :)

(And do say that you were referred to M-L by me, Sanjana in the form :) )

Equal Opportunities, equal rights

2006-06-03T00:33:00.000-07:00

Inquilab Zindabad, a fellow blogger proclaims. Youth for Equality the banners scream. Kick this monster out!

Protest. Rallies. Candle-lit processions. Self immolation.

All for one thing. Anti-reservation.

I would like to say I don't get the fuss, that so what if 28% seats go to OBS and SCs and STs. However, I know that this does affect me, not merely because I'm from an upper class and the seat reservation policy is going to directly affect me later on but also because I am a citizen of this country and reservation is by itself a policy I am against.

Yes I am anti-reservation. But I am also anti anti-reservation activists.

Because the thing is, the dalits in this nation have absolutely no priveleges at all! In recent years, crimes committed against dalits have reached terrifying proportions, all in the rural areas of course. In Gujrat, upper class folks burned down a Dalit village. Somewhere else, dalits were forced to eat human excreta!

The problem here is firstly of course the upper class Hindus. Educated, non-educated what it may, nobody has the right to do that to another human being. This is blatant violation of human rights and I am shocked and disgusted by the fact that nobody has been punished for this. Secondly, in relation to reservation, the fact remains that OBCs do NOT have the same advantages as the upper, richer classes do. We prepare intensively for competitive exams, tution, coaching, having the best of facilities, the best infrastructure at our disposal. The OBCs do not and the question of judging merit then becomes difficult. So it is not surprising then that the OBCs who do take advantage of reservation are those who are actually able to afford half-way decent facilities for education. They of course would be able to get through through merit but when they can under category, well then, why not? So we have people like a friend of mine, who got a 3000th rank under General Merit in IIT but a 9th rank under category. Guess what she chose?

This is where reservation fails. Just by allocating seats but not filling them in the way they should be is not bringing any thing to the community. The poor people who do need reservation do not get the opportunities they need to reach that level. And on top of everything else, they're further trampled down upon, depriving them of basic human rights. Where does education even come into the picture?

The thing that needs to be done is to improve primary and secondary level education. When education at school level is improved to the standard of private schools then OBCs who attend these schools will have a better opportunity to fare better in competitive exams. Students should be encouraged to attend school, teachers need to be paid more to give them more incentive to actually teach. There's no point in providing higher level reservation when the fault lies at the grass roots. When these schools have reached the standard of private schools then where does the question of reservation even arise?

Something else which has been questioned recently is the caste-bias, especially in the media, with regards to the reservation protests. In the past few weeks, focus has been mostly on the anti-reservation rallyists, where TV channels and newspapers have been looking at the activists with indulgence, perhaps even encouragement. Meanwhile the pro-reservation activists merit less than a couple of minutes of air or news space...

Is this because most journalists are upper class members, who themselves look down upon the the pro-reservationists, considering most of them are bound to be dalits or OBCs? And if so, how does this reflect on the so-called secularist nature of our country?

In today's Hindu there was an extremely interesting article written by one Siddharth Vardrajan. He relates the story of a number of dalits who had been accepted into a medical college. Not only were they given seperate quarters from the rest of the student body, but even in the student mess, they were forced to sit at seperate tables. When one boy sat by mistake among the other 'upper-class' boys, he was insulted and told to shove off.

They kept quiet about this, accepted it but when one of their fellow students was beaten to pulp because he was a dalit, they staged a silent dharna. The journo covered the story, (he tried getting others to do so but no one volunteered) but the article appeared a month after the dharna and was completely mutilated.

We call ourselves educated, we call ourselves upper-class. Maybe we should learn to behave like 'upper-class' citizens once in a while. Instead of staging poorly thought out dharnas maybe we should look carefully at what really needs to be changed and then solve the problem once in for all.

(Personal note: I am anti-reservation, like I have said. I believe that when I, as a Hindu, cannot get equal rights in my country, then I really have nowhere to go. I disapprove in principal of minority run educational institutions where they give preference to their own religion, hence defeating the whole purpose of democracy and secularism. But when coming to OBCs and Dalits then I sympathise for they are Hindus and they have absolutely none of the advantages that minority religions like Muslims and Christians have. Infact I believe that Islam and Christianity should not have minority status at all, but then that's just my opinion.)

Why are you looking at me

2006-05-28T08:20:00.000-07:00

Around a year back, while coming back home late one evening, I was groped by a man who immediately disappeared when I turned around in fright.

Too scared to say anything I ran home.

Another time I was followed home by another man. I quickly ducked into Shoppers Stop and called my dad to come and pick me up.

A third time I noticed a man openly gawking, turning back every two minutes to see where I was, gaping lewdly at my body.

I disappeared into a hospital, waiting for him to go before I dared to step out.

I've been groped in buses, whistled at while riding, been called everything from 'baby,' 'sweety,' 'lover,' and 'jaaneman.'

I kept silent.

Today I learnt how wrong, stupid, and dumb I was to submit to my fear.

While I stood with other women like me, while I stood at signals, looking men in the eye, daring them to look back at me, something strange happened.

Every man I looked at would NOT look at me. Every man whose eyes I met tryed to intimidate me, tried to supress me.

I din't back down.

And he would lower his eyes and go on his way.

It's only when we keep quiet, it's only when we show our fear that men continue: eve-teasing, street-harassment, their usual shenanigans. But when you look back at them, when you stare right back at them, they don't take it as an invitation, they don't think we're reciprocating.

They get the message. They get the vibes.

Back off!

All it takes is a little courage.

This audio clip says it all really.

(Blank Noise)

(X posted at Misfits)

Rather late, but I've been stewing about this for a while....

2006-05-16T21:47:00.000-07:00

DMK won.

Spells the end of my respect for the tamilians.

And the Congress.

Over the past two years, ever since Congress became ruling party, I have been watching out for mistakes. I have never been a big fan of the Congress, I don't know why but I haven't. Everything is just too slick with them and most of the time I think they're cashing on to the advantage of having such greats like Nehru and others at the helm of the party in times gone.

However, I was reluctantly impressed with them. Their policies have been fair, to the most part and although it seems to me that Manmohan Singh is sticking too close to the Bush Administration, which pisses me off to no end, I still haven't found much to complain about.

Until now. DMK won because they promised color televisions to all those who don't have any. DMK won because they promised two acres of land to all the landless in Tamil Nadu. DMK won by bribing, coaxing and promising recklessly.

And the Congress backed them! In the first week after elections, Karunanidhi announced decrease in rice prices from 3.50 Rs to 2 Rs, costing the government crores of money. Other such decreases have already taken effect.

Isn't there something in the constitution which forbids tactics like this? Isn't there something there that disallows using bribes to get votes?

DMK has always been a rather unsavoury party. During last assembly elections, DMK party workers stole into polling booths late after everyone else was done with voting, and using the names of people who din't vote, they cast their votes for the DMK. And now they've done this. DOn't people have any sense?

I listened to Chidambaram defending the actions of the DMK and couldn't help feeling sick and disgusted!

On the other hand, Jayalalitha has once again been gaining my reluctant admiration. I know she's corrupt, I know she's ruthless. But she kept the state together. She handled post-tsunami TN admirably and I'll never forget the decree that every house in Chennai implement rain-water harvesting machines. That year, it din't just rain, it rained cats and dogs. Chennai's inafamous water problem became negligible.

Politics in this country is a dirty business. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother!

Another Announcement

2006-05-14T06:07:00.000-07:00

The unseemly and ignominious death of Arth

Don't worry. I'm not off the website scene yet.

I'm now, officially, on the web atleast, a Misfit.

Which had Wordpress installed on it. JOY!

So. You can find me there from now on :D

Also here. But more there :)

Announcements

2006-05-09T22:59:00.000-07:00

For those who have tried posting before but couldn't:

I have FINALLY enabled anonymous comments. So no more irritating rejoinders saying: anonymous posting not allowed.

:D

Antigone by Sophocles

2006-05-08T00:38:00.000-07:00

I don’t know how many of you’ll have read the play Antigone, both the version by Sophocles and the one by Jean Anouilh. The story is about a young girl who perceives something which she believes is wrong and decides to make it right again, in spite all the risks she would have to take to do so. And at the end she dies, along with almost everyone else in the play, but that really isn’t the point here.

The point here is not about the story of Antigone per se, but of the ideology behind the play. In the past few months, in the middle of frantic rehearsals, endlessly repeating lines, unbelievable tension and worry, we took some time of to actually understand what the play is about. And it’s not about some girl wanting to bury her brother to give him eternal peace, but it’s about rebellion, the force of protest, sticking your tongue out at an authority gone completely to seed and this theme, this ideology has never been as important to us, the youth of the world, as it is now.

Because the world around us is crumbling. Governments are now nothing more than exalted edifices, built on the rather tenuous support of corruption, greed and hunger for power. And this is deep-seated, reaching far within the houses of power. And we know all this. We know what is happening around us. But we close our eyes and ears and go the opposite way, because it doesn’t concern us.

How many of us turn a blind eye against injustice? There are crimes happening all around us: rapes, murders, hate-crimes, racism. Women are still a mostly subjugated race; wife beating and female infanticide is still rampant. Politicians scramble greedily for power and we let them, we allow them to start unnecessary wars, to sign biased treaties, to spread false information. All this is happening right in front of us and we ignore it, safe in our own secure bubble of so-called happiness, because hey, it doesn’t affect us, does it?

Of course people are waking up. All around us are signs that people do care, people are trying to make a difference, however much they can. But how much can they achieve when the majority of the world does nothing to help them? How much can they do when you and I don’t even bother to appreciate them, let alone help them?

It’s because we’re so comfortable in our existences that we really couldn’t be bothered about the rest of the world. A half-way decent house, a steady flow of income, a loving spouse, two cute kids, that’s all a lot of us look for and that’s all is happiness for us. Once that is achieved and we have settled, we balk at uncertainty, balk at the thought of moving our sedentary bottoms and help someone else get as ‘good’ a life as us. And so we let things flow, to carry on the way it has always been because trying to change it would mean a complete shift of rhythm, a complete sea-change in our life pattern, something we are not willing to do.

Which is why a play like Antigone is so important for us living in the world of today. It teaches us to fight for what we believe in, to not fall into antiquated ways of thinking, to tear out the bubble-wrap which has isolated us from the world and to turn the world upside down, if that is what it takes to make that wrong a right.

And then we can sit back and watch as everything falls into place.

(A lot of this was discussed at an impromptu session with our director Mallika Prasad. It had quite a bit of influence on this piece, as anyone who was there will be able to testify. But it is important, especially today, and I thought by sharing this, others out there would be as influenced by these words as I was)

This piece was posted first at The Martini Lounge, a place where I do the weekly speak out column with another girl. Once it was taken down, I decided to put it here, which explains why it is so late, since the play was performed more than a month ago.

March by Geraldine Brooks

2006-04-26T21:09:00.000-07:00

Geraldine Brooks: March

I'm very very intrigued by this book.

Little woman by Louisa May has always been one of my favorites. I remember reading the entire series, eyes wide, at the gentle fun the book inspired. The March sisters were wonderful role models and of course, my favorite, Jo who I adored, who reminded me so much of myself.

And now, this new book by Geraldine Brooks, taking the view-point of the absent father, John March. It will be interesting to see the Little Women series from the view point of another author for sure.

(Although I dont know how similar it is to the Little Women series. It sounds like a war novel and an idealistic man very much in love from the excerpt I read here)

There seems to be a lot of scepticism about this book though. Is it a sequel? Glorified fanfiction? The review sounded really interesting...war clashing with human weaknesses, rendering Captain March ineffective.

In Brooks’s telling, March emerges as an idealistic chaplain in the little known backwaters of a war that will test his faith in himself and in the Union cause as he learns that his side, too, is capable of acts of barbarism and racism. As he recovers from a near mortal illness, he must reassemble his shattered mind and body, and find a way to reconnect with a wife and daughters who have no idea of the ordeals he has been through.

From Geraldine Brooks' website.

Like I said...intriguing.

Well, the next thing on my agenda. Obtain a copy of this book...

In defence of our beauty

2006-04-24T08:40:00.000-07:00

In defence of our beauty!

In today’s day and age, nothing influences us as much as popular culture. With national and global media having extended all previously established frontiers, advertisements are one of the key methods to mobilize the markets, to induce wants in people, to persuade people that what they only desire is what they actually need! And though people believe that advertisements don’t really affect them, the fact remains that advertisement has become such a large part of our lives (people see an average of an ad a minute!) that we unconsciously imbibe their messages, which influence our thoughts, feelings, attitudes and perceptions.

However, in an alarming trend which has caught up in recent years, advertisers have started using the female form to sell their products. From biscuits to clothing to toothpaste, incredibly beautiful women, with great hair, skin and bodies are being used as models to sell these products. The question to be considered is this: how has this affected the image of the ideal women in most ‘normal’ women’s eyes?

There are, as always, both negative and positive aspects of this issue. The use of such perfect women in advertisements has, indeed, increased female insecurities by portraying an unrealistic image of a woman. False expectations can be created in the minds of both women and their partners whose perceptions have been influenced by what they see in the media. Also, there can be a conflict between real life and the so-called ‘reel’ life which can pervert a person’s view of reality.

The process is a reversible one though. If advertisements can influence a society, in turn, a society can influence the advert. Advertisements showing the perfect representation of the female form only reflect on every woman’s aspiration to attain that form. Advertisement also offers a form of escapism, where ordinary women can escape from their normal mundane lives into the glamour of the screen; an offer which they welcome gratefully.

That, however gives no right to the advertisement agencies to show women as mere sex toys, something happening not only in adverts nowadays but also in the hip-hop music videos where girls hop on screen wearing hardly anything, while the men, in an unlikely paradox are covered from head to toe. Since the field is almost completely male-dominated, this makes us take a hard look at underlying male-chauvinistic attitudes present in the media. Even products which are targeted at a specific group have advertisements showing half-naked women for no reason whatsoever! Such advertisements, which stereotype women in this way, pitting them against each other, only further evidences the male chauvinistic attitudes present in the system.

People have argued that women are not really represented as merely sexual creatures but can, in fact, serve as role models to other women who see them as achievers. But which woman with a right mind would want to pose as a piece of decoration in an advertisement? There are exceptions, yes. Advertisements showing women as committed, determined and confident people, striving to achieve what they have set for themselves haven’t been unheard of. However, they are few and far in between, much the pity.

By idealizing the perfect female body advertisement pressurizes females to attain that perfect shape which has lead to an increase in the likelihood of eating disorders, pursuit of unnecessary cosmetic surgery, anti-aging treatments, etc., Here, in India, where fair skin is almost a necessity, fairness cream adverts have only caused more harm than good, leading to despair in the so-called dark girls. People have argued and protested about such advertisements; however nothing has really come out of it. When looking for brides (reading the classifieds, another excellent indicator of societal trends), most people look for girls with fair skin. This is mainly because of the Indian media which glorifies the image of a woman who is not dark!

If this is such a heated debate, then why are female models not complaining about the work they do? The fashion industry is such a competitive one that they wouldn’t dare. Most models just take whatever work they get, they don’t have the luxury to complain about the ethics behind what they do. Even though they are viewed as biddable objects, they really can’t do anything about it. Some adverts even use a child-like interpretation of women, denigrating all women and the models as well as condoning paedophilia!

Sometimes even the selected models are not completely perfect. Air-brushing is an art most magazines and newspapers have adopted. The policy is simple. If perfection is unattainable, then there will always be a constant demand for their products. It’s true. Even the most beautiful woman is unsure of herself, what about us normal women who are constantly bombarded with hundreds of perfect women? Studies have shown that women who view the media’s portrayal of beauty are more likely to have a negative body image then anybody else!

Advertisements are definitely necessary. Our world, which runs on money, would stop if people stopped becoming consumers. It is however, completely depraved when capitalists and companies distort women’s self-confidence and self-security just to sell their products!

For your information:

Some companies have been repeatedly producing disturbing images of women in their advertisements. About-Face (www.about-face.org) has a handy list of these companies here: http://www.about-face.org/goo/archive/. Like the people at About-Face, I urge you to reconsider buying from these companies next time you go shopping. They also have a gallery for winners which can be viewed here: http://www.about-face.org/gow/.

While looking for information for this article, I came across a list of websites which deal with this issue. Here are some resources for those interested…

What is body image? Self explanatory, really: http://www.edreferral.com/body_image.htm

Adios Barbie! A body image site for everyone: Factual information on the doll most of us loved playing with. Suitable for young children and woman who have, sadly, started to dislike their bodies. http://www.adiosbarbie.com/

HUGS International: Don’t let the scale ruin your day.
http://www.hugs.com/

The Girls, Women and Media Project: Raising awareness of images of girls being presented by the media. http://www.mediaandwomen.org/

Women of Colour Web: Has articles and information for women of colour in the United States. http://www-lib.usc.edu/~retter/pit.html

Exoticize my Fist! : A feminist Asian American resource site. Also features Gay and lesbianism in Asians. http://www.exoticizemyfist.com/

Reflecting Venus: Combating discrimination against fat and overweight people.
http://ca.geocities.com/ardenpeep/venus/venus.html

All images above are from about-face.org. Great Great Website!

Welcome to the world of the immature

2006-04-13T21:38:00.000-07:00

Things yesterday taught me:

People are definitely as stupid as I always thought they were.

Kumaraswamy is as ineffective as I first believed he was.

The policemen in this city have no idea how to go about their work.

And Bangalore is no stranger to chaos but yesterday took the cake.

So. Rajkumar is dead. The man who has constantly been in the news, the staunch Kannadiga, the man who millions idolized. Is. Dead.

It seems sort of strange. I've gotten used to seeing Rajkumar in the papers, on the news, on billboards and hoardings. The first time I ever heard about Rajkumar was only in my ninth though, when he was kidnapped by Veerappan. Then the only thing which interested me was the two weeks holidays we got. Then slowly I learnt more about him and though I wasn't particularly impressed by him (understatement of the century perhaps?) he was an integral part of the city.

Which is why yesterday's situation disgusted and horrified me. If those people out there were really Rajkumar's fans, they would definitely not have behaved the way they did. They would definitely not have had done the things they did. Stoning. Setting things on fire. Vandalizing. Looting. Lynching police officers. This is my city!

So here's my take on why they did it. It looked like those people out there were only looking for an excuse to lose control. None of them looked as though they were old enough to be fans of Rajkumar. And it's not as though Rajkumar was murdered or assasinated. He died of natural causes and that's what makes it even more strange.

However, India is a country with more than 60% of the population below the poverty line. And in a city such as Bangalore, the divide is rather marked. With the IT Industry, the economy is no doubt booming but the wealth is all concentrated in the hands of the limited few. But with Bangalore's reputation, more and more people are coming into the city in search of jobs only to be disappointed. Not only that, they see jobs going to people from othe cities, they watch as they grow rich at the expense of those who lost out and they retreat, disillusioned and angry.

And so, the frustration of being unemployed, yet seeing huge malls go up, yet seeing well dressed people driving by in luxury cars, seeing cafes and restaurants that they can ill afford, seeing all this coming up in front of their eyes, which they have no chance in hell of using, well, they definitely will have negatively influenced them. And with Rajkumar's death, they found the perfect opportunity to vent, to let loose their rage.

I'm not commending what they did. Infact, I'm sick and disgusted with what they did. But perhaps the blame can be more evenly distributed? The government, which has never held good to its promises. The disparity between the rich and the poor which is so wide. Yesterday, the ugly side of Bangalore showed its face. Now that we've seen it, what can we do to prevent such things from happening again?

We can't depend only on the police. Though definitely, they did do as much as they could but the fact remains that they are ineffective with no idea how to handle situations like yesterday. Which is why hundred of policemen were injured yesterday and some even died. It was the saddest thing I had ever seen.

What we can do is try to reduce that disparity which I talked about. Guarantee permenant employment to those who deserve it. Spread awareness about jobs available and qualifications required for it so that people can work towards that. Perhaps set up a dole system like that present in other countries. When people are satisfied with their lives, they wont go around trying to disrupt others.

Dr Rajkumar may have been a hero as great as MGR and NTR. I don't know. But the real hero for me yesterday was Javed, the eighteen year old high school boy who saved eight children from a fire in the Meerut Brand India fair. He finally succumbed to his burns yesterday but not before embedding himself into my heart and others as well as a true hero. It's people like him who still let me believe that the world is, indeed, a good place...

2006-04-13T21:27:00.000-07:00

I have three blog posts saved in my drafts.

And yet I dont wanna post any.

WRITER'S BLOCK! GO AWAY! NOW!!!

The Bell Jar

2006-03-09T09:25:00.000-08:00

Here's what is scaring me about this book:

Sylvia Plath was a manic-depressive, suicidal to boot and schizophrenic (I think) And yet, I completely identify with this: her autobiographical novel.

That is actually scaring the shit out of me!

Full review will be up once I finish reading the book.

Wow. Christianity

2006-03-07T09:25:00.000-08:00

I'm an agnostic turning into an atheist but I generally don't religion bash. It is politically incorrect.

However this story completely took me aback:

The lady who works in our house came and told us a story yesterday. She has around four to five children, all girls except the boy who is the youngest. Of the girls, three are married, one of them who recently worked in our house lost a baby due to SIDS ( a terribly tragic incident which completely shocked and frightened me.)

However, that is not the point here. Here's what happened at their house a couple of days back.

A Brother (one of those in training for priesthood) wandered into their house, caught hold of the son, sat down with him and said:

Come. I'll take you to the church right now and baptize you. I'll give you a new name and you can call yourself Christian.

The boy looked at him and said:

I'm sorry but I'm Hindu.

And he got up and left the house, without a second's hesitation.

Now here's why I'm glad I'm not a Christian. A religion which believes in such sort of conversion...well, there's something wrong about that. If a person wants to convert by themselves, well, they can go ahead and do it. But a religion which tries to gain power in this way...well, I'm sorry to say but please. Learn some respect!

Christian missionaries around the world are doing excellent work no doubt but not when their ulterior motive is to get more people to become Christian. Good work should be done for the sake of the work itself, not for power, or money, or whatever. What exactly are the brothers trying to do here? Slowly, but surely, eradicate other religions?

Tony Blair brought that up recently, when he said that he had his orders from God when he sent British troops to Iraq. Similarly, he and George Bush apparently prayed together for so-called enlightenment before mounting their attack on Iraq. Bush went as far as calling it a crusade. A crusade against what? The Muslims? The rest of the non-christian world?

And seriously, conversion really does nothing to improve most of the lives of such people. Arundathi Roy, in God of Small Things, explains that, using the example of Velutha, an untouchable who becomes a Christian, who is still treated as an untouchable (by even his Christian employers) but is denied the reservation and the rights for the untouchables because technically, he isn't one anymore.

I'm not saying that Hinduism is infallible. I can count millions of faults of Hinduism right now, off the top of my head. Archaism, ritualism blah blah. But atleast we are secure enough in our religious beliefs that we dont need to force people to become part of the religion!

I'm really not completely against Christianity. When Graham Steines was murdered, I joined the rest of the country in mourning his death. I have a large number of Christian friends who I really like. I dont think it is the fault of the religion itself, but of the people who interpret it wrongly, who take it upon themselves to play God with other people. And that is not only terrible but morally and socially depraved!

God save us all. Before we take it upon ourselves to do so.

Being a woman

2006-03-03T04:38:00.000-08:00

Ever since I was a young child I wanted to be a boy. I would climb trees, play football, shout, yell and act like a boy. As I grew up, my body matured into that of a woman and I soon came to realize that not only was I not a boy, I would never, ever understand what it would be like to be one, never enjoy the priveleges, the respect which comes of being male, never see the undeniable fallacies of being male either.

And surprisingly enough, I am not upset about that. Anymore.

I wont deny that I was, once upon a time, plenty angry for being born a woman. For stewing in silence as I watched people around me fawn over boys, ignoring the girls. For angrily denouncing all women as pale, afraid little creatures unable to take control of their own lives. I believed that i would only be able to do what I wanted to do if I was a male.

But now I realize that it is this sort of self-defeating attitude which continues to spur the male-dominated society we live in. It is this belief, that only men are capable of building a society which has pushed women kind into the background. I've realized that you don't need to be a man to do anything! Anyone can do anything. All it requires is COURAGE!

Courage to break out of this self-imposed prison then women have inflicted on themselves. Courage to shake of societal restrictions and do what we want to do the way we think we should do it. Courage, to throw away the shackles restricting us from taking over the world and go ahead and bloody do it!

And for that, we first need to get comfortable with our identity. For we are women, born with women parts: breasts and vaginas and uteruses. But why should we let that stop us from reaching our full potential, whatever it might be? Why do we have to be male to do so?

Society may still believe that a woman should do as she is told, that she has no voice, that she is nothing but a brood mare. Things might be changing but it is still a fact that when children come into the picture, it is the woman's duty to take care of it. Women still have to juggle home and professional lives, a lot more than men will ever have to. But if women and men are equal, then why should women have to go through all the hassles of building a career when men don't?

I've realized that now, when I am finally comfortable with the fact of being a woman, comfortable with the fact that I am going to have to work much more than any man to gain the respect I deserve, comfortable with the fact that slowly, surely, I'm going to make my way to the top. Without being a man.

Look at me. Look at my face, my body, my hands, my legs. Here's what I am. A WOMAN! And I'm not ashamed of being so!

[x] posted at Ilampoon

This world which runs on money...

2006-02-23T05:32:00.000-08:00

I've had a cavity in my tooth since like forever.

The previous filling fell out sometime in the midst of 2005 and I ignored it thinking that I will get myself to a dentist soon, I will, I will, I will.

I didn't.

While there is an important lesson about procrastination in this story, that's not my immediate concern. Procrastination is a chronic syndrome I'm unfortunately afflicted it and I've accepted it as a part of my life and it is of no importance whatsoever here.

In the face of an unexpected holiday, I finally decided to get my act together and get myself to the dentist. And I, like an idiot, landed up at HOSMAT. While Hosmat is well known for sports medicine and orthopeidics, I figured, that since it was closest to home and since it has a dentistry department, that's where I went.

I ran through reams of beaurocracy, filled in forms, paid the consultation fees, blah blah blah. And finally I went through to the doctor.

She poked and prodded at my mouth and then looked at me seriously.

"I think you need to go for a root canal."

I stiffened. My mind shut down, remembering the horror stories I've heard about root canals. I asked her if it was necessary, she said yes. She then took an x-ray of my tooth and sent me on my way.

The thing is, I've always been a little skeptical of HOSMAT. They've got a terrifyingly good reputation but I've also read about them being a little money oriented. They will prescribe unnecessary treatments for you to get money out of you. They will diagnose wrong treatments for the same reason. And when I asked a neighbour of mine, she told me that both her daughters AND her husband had been told to do a root canal by that same doctor.

This suspicion led me to another dentist. He looked into my mouth and said this:

"The cavity is deep so I'll take an X-ray just to make sure that it hasn't gone down to the roots."

The X-ray was taken. He looked at it carefully.

"You're very lucky. A week later and you would have had to do a root canal. We'll fill the cavity."

I returned home with cement in my tooth and a triumph at outsmarting the HOSMAT people.

Spotting Trains

2006-02-11T07:20:00.000-08:00

It took me a month but yesterday I finally finished Trainspotting by Irvine Welsh.

And I have to say that though I've read some fairly disturbing books in my life, this one takes the cake!

It has graphic details of druggies and junkies, with the underlying sense of desperation which outlines most of our lives. It's entirely and completely gross, especially that famous scene where the Rent Boy digs through his own feces for the opium suppositories he has deposited in his rectum, and when Kelly squeezes her menstrual blood from a tampon into the soup of a disgusting lecherous prick and at times I would squeeze my eyes shut and vow not to go any further but barely half an hour would pass before I would return fanatically to it, some sort of self-defeating, uncontrollable need governing my desire to read the book in its entirety.

And it was worth it. Because, we, like the characters in the book, are all really searching and searching for some sort of identity, some sort of reason for which we would actually want to live for. Some reason, besides the everyday humdrum, why we should continue to live until the end of our lives, instead of taking it into our own hands and ending it then and there. And even as Rents flounders through his life, picking at it desultarily, bringing about his own doom, I felt compassion for him, pride as he finally cleaned up, and disappointment when he succumbs again. And life is like that. We flounder through it unhappily, watching as we bring about our own self-destruction and we realize it and 'clean-up' but that's only for some time before we relapse into the morally depraved world we've built for ourselves.

Is everything really worth it?

Rang deeee....

2006-02-09T04:14:00.000-08:00

Today I watched Rang De Basanti.

It was...good.

I hesitate to praise it to the sky because there were some aspects of it that just struck me as stupid!

WARNING! Spoilers ahead!

Firstly, which policeman is going to get away with beating an old woman into coma?

Which defense minister is going to walk unguarded (well, relatively, at least) on the street, open to assassination attempts from all sides?

And what sort of fools are the black-cats to literally shoot down five defenseless men in the face of public criticism?

We all want to change the world. Hell, I know I do. But there are ways to go about it. Ways which don't involve killing or murder or lathi charges. If I were to change the world, here's how I would do it:

1) Distinguish myself in a particular field, mostly Human Rights, Journalism, or Social Work.
2) Find equally motivated people such as me who wouldn't succumb to the temptations of money.
3) Band together and form a political party, which shall then win the affections of the janta.
4) Win majority seats in parliament.
5) Make sure that the laws are fair and impartial, and more than that, actually enforced.
6) Find youth who are of similar temperament and opinions and make them continue our legacy.
7) Retire at fifty, leaving the government in the hands of the youth.

Rather idealistic, and almost impossible since I really can't speak a word of hindi but there's my ten year plan for you.

Conversations with pati

2006-02-08T06:26:00.000-08:00

I had an interesting conversation with my grandmother the other day.

It ranged from the time-honoured classic that is 'Baby's Day Out' to a friend who miraculously escaped being run over by a train.

And in the span of that entire conversation, one thing struck me rather hard.

'It was so lucky he escaped,' she said. 'He had three girls to marry off, you know?'

Now, I love my granny and she is incredibly cute but that sentence completely threw me, completely chilled me. And yet, it and its various layers of meaning still reverberate continuously throughout middle-class Tamil society, to which I rather unfortunately belong.

The fact that a man's duty by his daughter ends completely with her marriage hurts and bewilders me. I would like to believe that my dad sees more in me than that! And through out this all, I can't shake the feeling that women are still treated as brood mares, that the duty of a woman begins and ends with bearing a child, and preferable a male one at that.

And what is marriage in today's world anyways? Why should the only goal of a woman be marriage? I can see changes around me, in attitudes and women do seem have more of a say in their own lives (it took long enough!). And yet, my grannies throw around statements like that, my own mother believes that no woman should wait beyond the age of 24 to marry and I sit there, trying to take all this through one ear and let it out the other but it's difficult and scary and sometimes I feel helpless and frightened and I can't wait to get out of this house, away from my family to follow my dreams, to achieve my goals, to live my own life.

I love my family but things have got to change!

[X] posted at Ilampoon

What a beginning!

2006-02-01T05:33:00.000-08:00

I dream of being a journalist.

I hear of women being raped, little children plotting murder, war and killing and strife and famine and I want to change all of this, I want everyone to feel as safe as I've always felt and here's where I shall vent, here's where I shall throw my opinions, my views onto this world for better or for worse.

Welcome to unprettiful.

For my personal blog, head over to my livejournal. My non-existent design skills are on display here. The rest...well, is there a rest?

Beware, for there is dangerous ground ahead.